Spamalot

We’re still working on our next roadtrip travelogue, but wanted to share something that’s come up in the meantime. Over the last few days, we’ve received a sudden influx of spam comments on our (sadly underutilized) Zazzle-linked product pages. We do normally get a lot of these – 9,932 so far this year – but usually they’re blocked by a spam protection plugin called Akismet. It works really well, but for whatever reason, a whole batch recently slipped through the blockade all at once.

Here’s the thing: the spam comments are kind of amazing. If you’re not familiar with how these work, spam comments basically just provide a link to some (probably malicious) website or product, in the comments on our site, in the hopes that people or Google will see us linking there and treat the link as reputable. Because this is fairly obvious, the more sophisticated spammers have set up fake comment bots that try to masquerade as real commenters. The way they do this is by pulling text from real comments across the Internet, then changing them slightly or combining them together, while posting an unrelated link to whatever they want you to click on.

The comments bots still have a long way to go in perfecting this technique. As you’ll see, the comments are not particularly convincing.  But they are nonetheless kind of fascinating, a blind remix of thoughts and ideas strung together and dumped into wildly inappropriate settings.  And apparently, they really like yoga.

In an effort to slake your never-ending thirst for content, and also to remind our readers / ourselves that we do sell things, we collected a few of our favorites below.

Yes, a very good piece indeed.  The photo is not neslcsariey representative of today’s 70-year-old (I know because I’m over 70 myself), but her facial expres…

We apologize to obviously-real commenter “Alejandriitha” for our Santa stamp being insufficiently representative of today’s 70 year olds. We made it for yesterday’s 70 year olds, and obviously, it hasn’t transitioned as well as we’d hoped.  But mostly, we enjoy how this one just sort of trails off at…

Thanks for the something tolalty new you have disclosed in your short article. One thing I would really like to comment on is that FSBO relationships are built after a while. By presenting yourself to the owners the first saturday and sunday their FSBO will be announced, ahead of the masses start calling on Monday, you produce a good network. By mailing them methods, educational components, free accounts, and forms, you become a good ally. If you take a personal fascination with them and also their circumstance, you produce a solid relationship that, on most occasions, pays off when the owners opt with an adviser they know and also trust   preferably you actually.

We certainly agree we should have spent more time on the inner workings of building FSBO (?) relationships while making this t-shirt.  Thanks to this helpful comment, we now know how to produce a good network – we just need to mail our readers “methods, educational components, free accounts, and forms.”  Check your mailboxes for quizzes and chunks of desks!

Karen Cody – We are interested in gtenitg a wedding estimate for a date in October 2013 and what exactly the cost of the site and wedding reception will include (i.e., cake, dinner, open bar, linens, table, appetizers, etc.)Thanks, karen

Nothing Mundane – Karen, we are not wedding planners, but we suspect the main cost for an October 2013 wedding will be the time travel. Most likely, you’ll be looking at upwards of $1 trillion per head. If that’s not a problem, let us know and we’ll get back to you with an estimate for flowers, etc. as well.  Thanks, Nothing

Please bring back Inhale with Steve Ross I used to do it with my mom every night, and he is so far the only yoga instructor that doesn’t drive me iannse! I need to do yoga but cant seem to unless I can have fun with it, I would settle for even a DVD

I need Steve Ross!  Inhale was something I leookd forward to everyday!  There is now a huge void in my practice that Rodney yee or Shiva rea and the likes cannot feel.  I loved the energy and variety that each inhale class provided.  There is nothing else like it out there.  I started inhale in 2002 when I was 15 yaand years old and

A rare double comment on the same topic, and there was even a third, much longer comment which we cut for length.  Yes, the spambot clamor for Inhale with Steve Ross (which was a real thing) is as overwhelming as it is poorly spelled. Don’t worry, friendly spammers!  We’ll work our hardest to make sure Inhale with Steve Ross is next to come back, right after Gumbel 2 Gumbel.

That is exactly what life is all about!  Great wrinitg Katie.  Before you know it, you’ll be where I am and think,  Wow, that went so fast . But I know that I still have Heaven to look forward to, and that wonderful life will never end!  Love You, Pat

We totally agree – if there is anything which perfectly encapsulates what life is all about, it’s the opening lines to “Baby Got Back.”  Enjoy your vision of heaven, Pat!  And thanks to all of our spambot commenters for giving us a break from writing a real blog post today.

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Coffee coffee coffee

Mmm coffee.  Coffee is good.  We like coffee.  Coffee coffee coffee.

Speaking of coffee:  one of our only sisters or in-laws has a Ph.D. (for real) in coffee (ish).  She has a Kickstarter for a film she wants to make called Ground.  It basically follows the origin of how a plant becomes delicious go-go juice.

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Wanna Cook?

It’s the end of the summer, which means the days are cooling off and the nights are… also cooling off. Despite our love of the holidays, it’s a bit of a drag. But there’s still time for one last hurrah!

In that spirit, let’s transition seamlessly to something which has to do with a product we made.  Did you know that you should store papayas on the counter and that they are a high ethylene gas producer?

Lots of other fruits do this too.  In fact, the science of produce storage is so complex that we fit it onto a 4×6 magnet for your fridge!

Actually, that doesn’t seem that complex.  So we also made a cheat sheet for measurement unit conversions, because this is America and these colors don’t metric system!

Our measurement and produce storage magnets fit nicely onto your refrigerator and can withstand literally millions of referential glances.  And if you’re more of the antihero type, we also have a “dark” version of the produce storage magnet.

So grab a set, and your supply can be as fresh as your cooking is meticulous.  You can take our word for it:  these designs are so handy we already snagged some for ourselves.

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