In honor of Columbus Day, aka Explorers’ Day, aka Indigenous Peoples’ Day, aka It’s Pretty Fucked Up That We Still Celebrate This Monster Day, Zazzle is currently offering sales of up to 50% off during their “SALE The Ocean Blue” promotion. And who wants to worry about genocide or horrible puns when you can SAVE?
In our modern, workaday, jet-setting, go-go-90s lives, it’s customary to think of food as something that just appears in supermarkets and restaurants on command. It’s just there when you want it, as normal and blasé as perfect interior temperature control or a pocket computer which can contact anyone in the world in seconds. I click a few buttons on the Internet and a half-hour later someone hands me a bag of food and leaves: YAWN.
Food is safe, boring, normcore.
We’re sick of it, and so we came up with some new prints to help bring back a little bit of that old-school, hunter-gatherer edge to the kitchen. You know what pairs well with a pork tenderloin? Menace.*
Links (open in new window):
Pair them with one of our robot grocery tote bags for twice the terror. Good thing you’re cooking with a knife in your hand; I hope nothing else goes wrong.
* Menace, and Simpsons jokes.
If there is one thing that more than three decades of life has made indisputably clear for me, it’s this: I don’t want to have to get up. And since I haven’t yet mastered Homer Simpson’s move…
the only rational conclusion is that some sort of ambulatory assistant is essential. However, as previously established, I don’t trust robots, even robot housekeepers.
* An anthropologist sister of mine tells me this is a chimpanzee, and that chimps are apes, not monkeys. This is an important distinction that I definitely care about even a tiny bit, so please feel free to imagine the “The More You Know” rainbow and music in your head. This post already has enough irrelevant graphics.
Some people have more cowboy in them than others. But everybody has water in them, except for mummies. That’s the reason why we made this sea cowboy graphic, and definitely not something I just made up.