We have a new product, and at the risk of seeming hubristic, it is the greatest thing to ever exist in the world.
Behold: the Nothing Mundane Universal Card!
The Nothing Mundane Universal Card frees you from the shackles of dischoosing, putting you in the driver’s seat to self-realization. It’s also perfect for figuratively all occasions, whether a birthday, wedding, valentine’s day, or Tuesday. You can express every emotion that matters, betray humanity to the robots, and use pronouns – truly, the universe of human experience.
If you are like us, you are unable to plan for important dates more than zero days in advance. Well, just buy a bunch of these babies (babies are traditionally sold in bunches), and rather than cop to forgetting your 25th anniversary, you can just claim you left the card in your desk – then return a conquering hero. (Note: do not forget your 25th anniversary.)
But wait, there’s more! To promote the universal card, we made an online Choose Your Own Adventure game. It is short, absurd, and we guarantee (no we don’t) it will be worth the few minutes of your time it will take to complete.
Plus, we scattered baby animal pictures throughout because puppies.
Begin your adventure here!