A Universal Card For An Uncertain Universe

We have a new product, and at the risk of seeming hubristic, it is the greatest thing to ever exist in the world.

Behold: the Nothing Mundane Universal Card!

The Nothing Mundane Universal Card frees you from the shackles of dischoosing, putting you in the driver’s seat to self-realization.   It’s also perfect for figuratively all occasions, whether a birthday, wedding, valentine’s day, or Tuesday.  You can express every emotion that matters, betray humanity to the robots, and use pronouns – truly, the universe of human experience.

If you are like us, you are unable to plan for important dates more than zero days in advance.   Well, just buy a bunch of these babies (babies are traditionally sold in bunches), and rather than cop to forgetting your 25th anniversary, you can just claim you left the card in your desk – then return a conquering hero.  (Note: do not forget your 25th anniversary.)

But wait, there’s more!  To promote the universal card, we made an online Choose Your Own Adventure game.  It is short, absurd, and we guarantee (no we don’t) it will be worth the few minutes of your time it will take to complete.

Plus, we scattered baby animal pictures throughout because puppies.

Begin your adventure here!

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Ho Ho Ho, Ho

Usually we do not participate in nor condone the retail strategy of “Christmas in July.”  Procrastination is our forte; planning ahead makes us uneasy.  However, we know that there are people out there capable of looking more than forty-five seconds into the future – probably through some form of voodoo – and this post is for all those sorcerers planners.

Nothing Mundane presents… holiday cards!  In the middle of summer!  Zazzle is running a “Christmas in July” promo, so you can get them up to 60% off by using the promocode JULYHOLIDAYZ until July 25, 2014 at 11:59PM (PT).   The Z is for savingz – time to stock up!

bacon_is_on_sale-20978

Have a special ho in your life?  Or maybe several, depending upon local area codes?  Well, don’t fret, we have the perfect card for you:

holidays_hohoho_card

Just imagine all the fun conversations you can have with relatives both young and elderly alike!  (alternative layout / t-shirt versions available too)

Not sweet enough for you? Okay, well how about this:

holidays_gingerbread_card

Get it?  Wholesome?  Don’t worry, it will be hilarious come December.  (minimalists can change or remove the text with the “customize this” button)

We also offer the gingerbread men on stamps, wrapping paper, and t-shirts.  Available in both “whyishelickinghislips” and “omgsomeonejustatemylegwhatiswrongwithhim” flavors.

This year, get a jump on the holidays – before it can get the jump on you.

santa_came_early-6754

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We’ll Live Like Kings

If there is one thing that more than three decades of life has made indisputably clear for me, it’s this:  I don’t want to have to get up.  And since I haven’t yet mastered Homer Simpson’s move…

the only rational conclusion is that some sort of ambulatory assistant is essential.  However, as previously established, I don’t trust robots, even robot housekeepers.

robot_rosie
Plus, the cost of oil these days!  It just doesn’t fit in the budget.  But there’s one choice that is both adorable AND willing to work for fruit:  monkey butlers.*
monkey_butler

How many monkey butlers will there be? One at first, but he’ll train others.

Our newest design will class up your life and help you dream really, really small.  Available  as a poster, t-shirt, or phone case.  It’s alright.

* An anthropologist sister of mine tells me this is a chimpanzee, and that chimps are apes, not monkeys.  This is an important distinction that I definitely care about even a tiny bit, so please feel free to imagine the “The More You Know” rainbow and music in your head.  This post already has enough irrelevant graphics.  

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Loose Seal!

[Ed. note:  We are enormous fans of Arrested Development.  We apologize in advance for the number of show references we are about to make.]

Caca-caca-caca-caw!

The Arrested Development chicken dance is one of its best gags.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zf2e8z7EoF8

We  love it so much that we made a design showing off each family member’s signature move, available on t-shirtsmugsmouse pads, and ties:

arrested_development_chickens_dont_clap

Maybe you could wear a tie to your new job as Mr. Manager?  (We just say manager.)  Or even better, show up in this spiffy t-shirt with this spiffy mug.  You’re Mr. Manager now: the choice is up to you.

arrested_development_mr_manage_mug

And last, but not least, it’s The Final Countdown.  (Doo do doo do, do do doo do do.)  Wearing this shirt can give anyone the illusion of success, since it has the kind of style you otherwise can only get from wearing a $3,000 suit.  C’mon!  Buy one.

arrested_development_final_countdown

And that’s why… you always buy Arrested Development products.

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I Wish…

We all have something about us that we wish was different.  Maybe you’re too tall or too skinny or too in love with sloths* to feel comfortable with yourself, and you just wish you could make a change.

That’s ok!  We’re dreamers too here at Nothing-Mundane.  That’s why one of our favorite old-school jams is Skee-Lo’s “I Wish,” and that’s why we made this design.

skeelo_i_wish

Available on t-shirts or a mousepad.

 

* Just kidding, you can’t actually be too in love with sloths.  They are adorable.  We saw some at the Costa Rican sloth sanctuary and Jake’s mom made some Zazzle products out of the photos she took.  We’re like a Zazzle family band!

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In defense of the ‘stache

duchamp lhooq mona lisa 1919

The fake mustache trend. Those of you who know us personally know how we feel about this. We were early adopters, and used mustaches as seating cards for the guests at our wedding. We own BeerMo Bottle Mustaches. We have Mustache Magnets. We like mustaches. One of us has a real one (you’ll never guess who). We like being silly.

Sure, the marketplace maybe over saturated with mustaches, and this trend may be fading, but in our hearts, the fake mustache will never die. Heck, even Dada artist Marcel Duchamp knew the greatness of the fake mustache (see above), way back in 1919.

Why wouldn’t you want to look like you have a mustache while drinking your morning cup of coffee?

obama_mustache_mug

Ah, much more distinguished. One might even say… presidential.

mustache_mugs

OK, the fake mustache might not be mature, but who cares. Treat yourself to a mustache mug and tune out the rest, because haters always gonna hate.

haters gonna hate

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