July 28, 2014 In Amusing Things, Cards, Creative Miscellany

A Universal Card For An Uncertain Universe

We have a new product, and at the risk of seeming hubristic, it is the greatest thing to ever exist in the world.

Behold: the Nothing Mundane Universal Card!

The Nothing Mundane Universal Card frees you from the shackles of dischoosing, putting you in the driver’s seat to self-realization.   It’s also perfect for figuratively all occasions, whether a birthday, wedding, valentine’s day, or Tuesday.  You can express every emotion that matters, betray humanity to the robots, and use pronouns – truly, the universe of human experience.

If you are like us, you are unable to plan for important dates more than zero days in advance.   Well, just buy a bunch of these babies (babies are traditionally sold in bunches), and rather than cop to forgetting your 25th anniversary, you can just claim you left the card in your desk – then return a conquering hero.  (Note: do not forget your 25th anniversary.)

But wait, there’s more!  To promote the universal card, we made an online Choose Your Own Adventure game.  It is short, absurd, and we guarantee (no we don’t) it will be worth the few minutes of your time it will take to complete.

Plus, we scattered baby animal pictures throughout because puppies.

Begin your adventure here!

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July 24, 2014 In Amusing Things, Cards, Pop Culture

Ho Ho Ho, Ho

Usually we do not participate in nor condone the retail strategy of “Christmas in July.”  Procrastination is our forte; planning ahead makes us uneasy.  However, we know that there are people out there capable of looking more than forty-five seconds into the future – probably through some form of voodoo – and this post is for all those sorcerers planners.

Nothing Mundane presents… holiday cards!  In the middle of summer!  Zazzle is running a “Christmas in July” promo, so you can get them up to 60% off by using the promocode JULYHOLIDAYZ until July 25, 2014 at 11:59PM (PT).   The Z is for savingz – time to stock up!

bacon_is_on_sale-20978

Have a special ho in your life?  Or maybe several, depending upon local area codes?  Well, don’t fret, we have the perfect card for you:

holidays_hohoho_card

Just imagine all the fun conversations you can have with relatives both young and elderly alike!  (alternative layout / t-shirt versions available too)

Not sweet enough for you? Okay, well how about this:

holidays_gingerbread_card

Get it?  Wholesome?  Don’t worry, it will be hilarious come December.  (minimalists can change or remove the text with the “customize this” button)

We also offer the gingerbread men on stamps, wrapping paper, and t-shirts.  Available in both “whyishelickinghislips” and “omgsomeonejustatemylegwhatiswrongwithhim” flavors.

This year, get a jump on the holidays – before it can get the jump on you.

santa_came_early-6754

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April 27, 2014 In Amusing Things, Pop Culture, Prints

Food Fight

In our modern, workaday, jet-setting, go-go-90s lives, it’s customary to think of food as something that just appears in supermarkets and restaurants on command.  It’s just there when you want it, as normal and blasé as perfect interior temperature control or a pocket computer which can contact anyone in the world in seconds.  I click a few buttons on the Internet and a half-hour later someone hands me a bag of food and leaves:  YAWN.  

Food is safe, boring, normcore.

Yeah, he’s vegetable man

We’re sick of it, and so we came up with some new prints to help bring back a little bit of that old-school, hunter-gatherer edge to the kitchen.  You know what pairs well with a pork tenderloin?  Menace.* 

kitchen_mock-up

Links (open in new window):

Pair them with one of our robot grocery tote bags for twice the terror.  Good thing you’re cooking with a knife in your hand; I hope nothing else goes wrong.

* Menace, and Simpsons jokes.

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April 1, 2014 In Amusing Things, Booze, Pop Culture, Prints

We’ll Live Like Kings

If there is one thing that more than three decades of life has made indisputably clear for me, it’s this:  I don’t want to have to get up.  And since I haven’t yet mastered Homer Simpson’s move…

the only rational conclusion is that some sort of ambulatory assistant is essential.  However, as previously established, I don’t trust robots, even robot housekeepers.

robot_rosie
Plus, the cost of oil these days!  It just doesn’t fit in the budget.  But there’s one choice that is both adorable AND willing to work for fruit:  monkey butlers.*
monkey_butler

How many monkey butlers will there be? One at first, but he’ll train others.

Our newest design will class up your life and help you dream really, really small.  Available  as a poster, t-shirt, or phone case.  It’s alright.

* An anthropologist sister of mine tells me this is a chimpanzee, and that chimps are apes, not monkeys.  This is an important distinction that I definitely care about even a tiny bit, so please feel free to imagine the “The More You Know” rainbow and music in your head.  This post already has enough irrelevant graphics.  

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March 31, 2014 In Amusing Things, Movies, Pop Culture

This Is What Happens, Larry

Sometimes there’s a man… I won’t say a hero, ’cause, what’s a hero? But sometimes, there’s a man. And I’m talkin’ about the Dude here. Sometimes, there’s a man, well, he’s the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that’s the Dude, in Los Angeles.

From one of our favorite movies of all time, we’ve got a new design lamenting an iconic tragedy.  We’re talking about drawing a line in the sand here!  Across which you DO NOT-

Well, I guess what we’re saying is:

lebowski_rug_print

Available as a print here.

Even better, we’ve reworked the quote a little to fit onto a card for that special someone you care about, whether it’s a bowling buddy, a redheaded lover, or a Little Lebowski Urban Achiever:

lebowski_rug_card

The inside can be customized to your liking.  Some suggestions from Nothing-Mundane:

    • Get well soon!
    • Thinking of you!
    • Coitus?

And if you don’t like this design…

lebowski_thats-just-like-your-opinion-man

I guess that’s the way the whole durned human comedy keeps perpetuatin’ itself.

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March 18, 2014 In Amusing Things, Pop Culture, Science!

I, For One, Welcome Our New Robot Overlords

Robots.

It seems like they’re everywhere these days.  Washing our cars, policing our streets, even entertaining our cats!

I’ll tell you, life sure was easier without them.  Not in a literal sense, because who would vacuum the carpet?!  But in a thoughtless, preachy, I-have-a-blurb-to-write sense, which I think is more meaningful.

But we know what the future looks like.

And we’re nothing if not attuned to the way the winds are blowing, so we’ve decided to jump ahead of the curve and curry some favor before everyone gets on the killbot bandwagon.   We have a variety of options for the discerning robot, including t-shirts, ties, mugs, and cards featuring this vision of NEXT YEAR:

robot_city_smash

For the robot on the domestic front, we have this t-shirt of a robot doing his grocery shopping (I think we captured this terminator’s likeness perfectly):

robot_shopping_shirt

It’s certain to persuade those meddlesome meatbags that you can be trusted with their EMP pulse generator, because no reason, you’re just curious about what’s inside, and you definitely won’t smash it beneath your mighty robo-feet.

If they’re still not persuaded, just hit them with this second robot grocery-store related item, a tote bag!  It’s a design so nice we accidentally made it twice.

robot_shopping_tote_bag

[Ed. note:  The best part of this post is that we somehow got to re-use the “grocery-related designs” tag]

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