Mmm coffee. Coffee is good. We like coffee. Coffee coffee coffee.
Speaking of coffee: one of our only sisters or in-laws has a Ph.D. (for real) in coffee (ish). She has a Kickstarter for a film she wants to make called Ground. It basically follows the origin of how a plant becomes delicious go-go juice.
We have a new product, and at the risk of seeming hubristic, it is the greatest thing to ever exist in the world.
Behold: the Nothing Mundane Universal Card!
The Nothing Mundane Universal Card frees you from the shackles of dischoosing, putting you in the driver’s seat to self-realization. It’s also perfect for figuratively all occasions, whether a birthday, wedding, valentine’s day, or Tuesday. You can express every emotion that matters, betray humanity to the robots, and use pronouns – truly, the universe of human experience.
If you are like us, you are unable to plan for important dates more than zero days in advance. Well, just buy a bunch of these babies (babies are traditionally sold in bunches), and rather than cop to forgetting your 25th anniversary, you can just claim you left the card in your desk – then return a conquering hero. (Note: do not forget your 25th anniversary.)
But wait, there’s more! To promote the universal card, we made an online Choose Your Own Adventure game. It is short, absurd, and we guarantee (no we don’t) it will be worth the few minutes of your time it will take to complete.
Plus, we scattered baby animal pictures throughout because puppies.
Usually we do not participate in nor condone the retail strategy of “Christmas in July.” Procrastination is our forte; planning ahead makes us uneasy. However, we know that there are people out there capable of looking more than forty-five seconds into the future – probably through some form of voodoo – and this post is for all those sorcerers planners.
Nothing Mundane presents… holiday cards! In the middle of summer! Zazzle is running a “Christmas in July” promo, so you can get them up to 60% off by using the promocode JULYHOLIDAYZ until July 25, 2014 at 11:59PM (PT). The Z is for savingz – time to stock up!
Have a special ho in your life? Or maybe several, depending upon local area codes? Well, don’t fret, we have the perfect card for you:
Just imagine all the fun conversations you can have with relatives both young and elderly alike! (alternative layout / t-shirt versions available too)
Not sweet enough for you? Okay, well how about this:
Get it? Wholesome? Don’t worry, it will be hilarious come December. (minimalists can change or remove the text with the “customize this” button)
We also offer the gingerbread men on stamps, wrapping paper, and t-shirts. Available in both “whyishelickinghislips” and “omgsomeonejustatemylegwhatiswrongwithhim” flavors.
This year, get a jump on the holidays – before it can get the jump on you.
Robots.
It seems like they’re everywhere these days. Washing our cars, policing our streets, even entertaining our cats!
I’ll tell you, life sure was easier without them. Not in a literal sense, because who would vacuum the carpet?! But in a thoughtless, preachy, I-have-a-blurb-to-write sense, which I think is more meaningful.
But we know what the future looks like.
And we’re nothing if not attuned to the way the winds are blowing, so we’ve decided to jump ahead of the curve and curry some favor before everyone gets on the killbot bandwagon. We have a variety of options for the discerning robot, including t-shirts, ties, mugs, and cards featuring this vision of NEXT YEAR:
For the robot on the domestic front, we have this t-shirt of a robot doing his grocery shopping (I think we captured this terminator’s likeness perfectly):
It’s certain to persuade those meddlesome meatbags that you can be trusted with their EMP pulse generator, because no reason, you’re just curious about what’s inside, and you definitely won’t smash it beneath your mighty robo-feet.
If they’re still not persuaded, just hit them with this second robot grocery-store related item, a tote bag! It’s a design so nice we accidentally made it twice.
[Ed. note: The best part of this post is that we somehow got to re-use the “grocery-related designs” tag]