Through sheer force of will, you jump into an alternate universe in which you were responsible enough to stock up on hundreds of thousands of Nothing Mundane Universal Cards ahead of time.
(Your hair looks better in this dimension too. Coincidence?)
You walk over to your desk and shimmy past a pile of stolen computers. You grab one of the blank cards, thankful you were prepared for this situation and all others. You robo-boogie back to the gathering to pass off the card as unique to this occasion.
The scam goes off without a hitch. Looking back, you’ll pinpoint this as the moment your life turned around, leading to you eventually becoming the world’s best and wealthiest person.
Here’s a video of some baby animals as your reward for purchasing Nothing Mundane products and thus succeeding at life.